Traffic lights
by Anshie
Summary: Midorikawa has to leave Inazuma Japan when the others go to Liocott Island. But when one door closes, another one opens. (Hiroto x Midorikawa)
1. Chapter 1

"Up to now, the best day of my life was when I was selected as a member of the FFI team. Something even better than this could only be..."

"Midorikawa Ryuuji."  
The addressed boy sighed in relief when his name was called. Phew! He did it. After the selection match, he had seen his chances of representing their country in the Football Frontier as a member of the Japanese team fade away. Only the best had been invited to play this match. The best had fought for their place in the team. And they all did their very best!

That he, former captain of Gemini Storm, the weakest team of Aliea Academy, was standing there with his name added to the list of the chosen ones, was almost like a miracle for him.  
On top of that, it wasn't even Saginuma standing next to him, but no less than Kiyama Hiroto, Gran, his childhood friend, his role model, his idol - and former superior. But their time during Aliea Academy suddenly seemed to be far away. Now he was standing here with his new team. As a member of Inazuma Japan. On the same rank as Hiroto and many other talented players. He did it!

"Forget it!" he screamed desperately. "It won't work anyway."  
Hearing Midorikawa Ryuuji scream was a rare occasion. Usually, he was calm and cheerful. Even if he wasn't happy, he never screamed his anger out loud, but rather kept silent. Midorikawa was that kind of person who kept his problems to himself, never talked to anyone about them. Maybe because he didn't want to bother others and also because he simply thought his problems weren't important enough to be told. He didn't want anyone to see his weaknesses. That was something Hiroto had learned especially during the last weeks. If anything, he was the only one in the whole team who had noticed that Midorikawa Ryuuji wasn't feeling well at all recently.  
Hiroto got to know the boy with the big dark eyes at an early age, and even if many years had passed since then - during which they went separate ways -, he still knew him well enough to notice when something wasn't right with the green-haired boy.

"It was a mistake to select someone like me, someone from Aliea Academy's lowest rank team, for the FFI," Midorikawa said while panting. He stood there with his head lowered, the upper part of his body bent over and his hands on his knees to keep his balance, while he gasped for breath and focused on the ground to his feet. His fringe was stuck on his forehead, wet from the sweat.  
"A mistake?" Hiroto repeated. Up to now, his voice had sounded stern because he tried to motivate Midorikawa to keep practicing. Now, the keenness in his voice was gone. "I don't think so," he answered.

Midorikawa looked up at him, surprised. It was already dark outside and the light of the pitch was scarce. They actually weren't even supposed to be here at this time. But Midorikawa had been on the field many times more than anybody expected during the past weeks, while all others were sleeping.

"After Aliea Academy, you got the chance to play with all others freely. Didn't your play change during that time?"  
"My play?" Midorikawa asked, a little unsure. He had no clue what Hiroto wanted to tell him by that.  
"As the captain of Gemini Storm, you might have been a little overexerted," Hiroto said. Overexterted? Yes, that was a good word to describe it... "But," the redhead continued. "When it was over, you started playing soccer in your own way and actually enjoyed it, didn't you?" He didn't really wait for Midorikawa to answer. "You were always optimistic and you got back up right away, no matter how many times you fell. You became good enough to compete with Epsilon and Genesis. And now..." Hiroto looked at him with a confident smile. "And now you're here."

Midorikawa gasped. He hated the feeling of a lump in his throat. But the more Hiroto said, the bigger the lump seemed to become. He wasn't far from starting to cry.  
"You can do it, Midorikawa," Hiroto kept going. "Have a little more self-confidence!"  
Midorikawa blinked, then a smile formed on his lips.  
"Alright," he just answered. He wasn't really as convinced as he acted, but Hiroto's words helped him and that was all that counted. The mere fact that someone was here and took his time to practice with him in the middle of the night made him happy.  
Hiroto seemed satisfied. "Okay then, let's continue!"

"Midorikawa, you'll leave the team."  
The words of their coach kept echoing in his head for a while.

The whole team seemed to be gloomy after Coach Kudou revealed the news. The whole team except Fudou of course. He had just left to go somewhere, where nobody could see if he showed the slightest emotional reaction. Midorikawa didn't mind his absence at all. He didn't value Fudou, out of all people, enough for him to join their little farewell party. Plus, Midorikawa had the feeling that this everything was about Fubuki and not about him in the first place. That's why he left the common room quite early to go to his room which he shared with Hiroto. He didn't even know if the others at least noticed that he was gone.

Midorikawa let out a deep sigh right after closing the door behind his back. It was so exhausting to smile when you were actually about to cry.  
He walked over to his bed and sat down. This would be the last night he spent in this bed. His eyes met the suitcase that stood in the middle of the room - packed and ready for departure. Midorikawa's eyes focused on some random spot near its handle until his view became blurred. He thought... maybe it was better this way. Hiroto already said it before: Midorikawa had been overexerted with the whole Aliea thing. It was probably the same with Inazuma Japan. He'd sure feel better when he could play soccer again without any tournament. Right! To play soccer, he didn't need to be here. He could play everywhere. Just...  
He leaned back and stared upwards. There were only a few inches between his head and the bedframe above him. It would be strange not to hit his head on the bed anymore.  
"Hiroto..." Midorikawa's heart felt like it was tightening in his chest when he thought of the other boy. He'd miss him. Oh, how he would! Hiroto was the only one who had always supported and helped him. Hiroto had believed in him. When one day, Hiroto had walked over to him during breakfast to sit down at the same table, Midorikawa had been happy. But when his former superior had then even asked if he was alright, Midorikawa had hardly trusted his ears. He didn't act noticeable to get sympathy. But still, he had wished, even if only unknowingly, that someone would address the issue. Just as a sign showing that someone was there, someone who was interested in how he felt. Midorikawa was quite sure that the rest of the team should have noticed as well that something was wrong. He had acted peculiar during practice more than often, just because he was in a bad mood. But still, nobody ever asked him about it. Nobody but Hiroto. Midorikawa didn't want to presume anything. But that nobody except Hiroto really knew him was a fact that surely nobody would deny.

Midorikawa got up and sat down on the floor next to his suitcase. He was about to open it to pack the rest of his clothes when the door opened.  
"So you did go already," Hiroto said when he saw him. He closed the door behind him and walked through the small room over to the simple wooden desk in front of the window. There he sat down on the chair, backwards, with his elbows on the backrest.  
"Endou said you just went to the toilet," he explained.

Midorikawa, who was still sitting on the floor, turned his gaze away and started acting as if he was searching something in his suitcase. In fact, he just didn't want to let Hiroto see how he rolled his eyes. Endou. In 90% of all cases, Hiroto didn't manage not to mention this name within the first five minutes of a chat. He was obsessed! Why did nobody except Midorikawa notice?  
"I didn't say that," he answered, and it wasn't even a lie. He had just nodded when their Captain stopped him close to the door of the common room. That was a big difference.  
Hiroto smiled gently like he always did. This smile was what Midorikawa had missed the most during their time at Aliea Academy. It had something calming. Hiroto had never smiled so honestly during their Aliea time. That was the reason that had made Midorikawa wonder more than once if what they did was really right.  
"Not in the mood for your own farewell party?" Hiroto asked and rested his head on his forearms. He seemed tired. What time was it? Midorikawa didn't check when he went to their room. But he didn't think that Hiroto came just to check up on him, but because he wanted to go to bed anyway.  
"You mean Fubuki's party," Midorikawa answered promptly. The words had left his lips before he could even think about them. Midorikawa stopped rummaging in his suitcase but didn't look up from it. Hiroto didn't say anything. He had just raised his head at Midorikawa's words and frowned. After some seconds, he answered.  
"What do you mean?"  
Midorikawa was quite sure Hiroto knew very well what he meant, and he didn't want to discuss that issue anyway, so he just shrugged it off, closed his suitcase and got up.  
"Nothing," he said casually and stretched his arms behind his head, before yawning and then turning his back to Hiroto. "I'm tired," he mumbled while walking to the door. "Gonna brush my teeth." And with that, he left the room.

Midorikawa took his time in the bathroom on purpose. Too bad that this little but treasonous sentence slipped out. He'd have loved to chat a little further with Hiroto, but now he was too scared that Hiroto might address the issue again. At night, when both of them were lying in their beds and the lights were turned off, they often chatted until they fell asleep. During the day, when the whole team was together, there wasn't much time to think about anything but soccer. Not that thinking about soccer was bad... He had enjoyed their time together as well as every single practice. But every now and then, he needed his calmness. And Hiroto was basically the same as calmness. At least for Midorikawa. It must have been because of that smile. Or because Hiroto always used to protect him from Nagumo. And Nagumo had always been anything but calm!  
Sighing, Midorikawa walked back to their room. Hiroto would probably be asleep by now. That meant they'd only have tomorrow morning to say goodbye. His heart narrowed when he thought about it. He didn't want to leave.  
Slowly, he opened the door, entered the dark room and crawled under his blanket. He stared above him. In the darkness, he couldn't see much of the bunk bed. He hated lying around, trying not to move much and waiting until he'd fall asleep.  
If he didn't talk now, he'd start thinking about tomorrow. About the farewell. And then he'd become twitchy an nervous. And then he'd start fidgeting, playing with his hair strands, tugging on the blanket, rolling around and-  
"Midorikawa," he heard the voice from the bed above him so suddenly that he twitched. Hiroto's voice sounded a little accusing.  
"I'm sorry," Midorikawa mumbled in shame and hid his head under the blanket.  
For a moment, it remained quiet, but then, Midorikawa could hear Hiroto turn around in his bed.  
"Will you write me?" The question came so abruptly and without context that Midorikawa had to think a moment before he understood what his friend meant. Then he nodded, even if Hiroto couldn't see it.  
"Actually, you'd have to write me," he said cheekily. Hiroto laughed.  
"I'll do that anyway."  
A big smile appeared on Midorikawa's face, even if the thought of the next day still made him sad.  
"That's good," he said quietly and closed his eyes.

The next morning came far too soon. Now he was standing there at the airport with all the other members of the team. For Inazuma Japan it was the start of their big adventure. For Fubuki it would be some time in the hospital and for Midorikawa... time to go home. The lump in his throat had been there right when he woke up this morning, and it probably wouldn't go away soon.  
"Midorikawa."  
He flinched when Hiroto's voice jolted him out of his thoughts. He turned around and saw his friend's worried expression.  
"I wish we could go together," Hiroto said.  
It took Midorikawa a moment until he managed to come up with an optimistic answer, like it was probably expected from him. The first that came to his mind was "Me too" but he refrained from saying it out loud. It was crazy! Hiroto's words had so much more influence on him than the other boy could guess. They made him happy. But the situation that led Hiroto to say them almost made Midorikawa cry.  
"I'm sorry," he finally said and smiled. "I did my best, so there's nothing to regret."  
Endou and Fubuki, who stood next to them, looked at him sadly and that somehow made him feel more than uncomfortable. Fubuki didn't need any sympathy. He just had to leave because of his injury. Midorikawa, though, was simply not good enough. That was something completely different.

"Now don't get overemotional!" Suddenly, Fudou's voice broke the depressing silence and everyone turned to him. "It's not the end of the world, is it."  
"Fudou!" Kidou started warning but suddenly Megane interrupted him.  
"But what he says is right. The rules of the FFI say that players are allowed to be changed during the tournament. That means that players who have to leave the team temporarily can come back and play in the next matches."  
"Really?" Endou asked.  
Obviously, none of them had known about this rule up to this point.  
"That's awesome!" Endou grabbed Midorikawa and Fubuki's arms and pulled them closer. "Fubuki, Midorikawa! We'll wait for you. To win, Inazuma Japan needs all its members!"  
Suddenly, it felt less difficult for Midorikawa to smile. That he could possibly get a second chance... He never thought about that up to now. So there was still hope after all. It was a huge weight off his mind.  
"Then we have to try even harder," Fubuki said to him. "To play with the others again."  
Midorikawa nodded.  
"When one door closes, another one opens," he said and turned back to Hiroto. "Alright! I'll do my best to come back," he promised.

A little later, the active members of the team and Fubuki left the terminal. Midorikawa was standing in front of the huge glass windows and looked outside to the runways in the distance. Then he looked down at his own hand that had touched Hiroto's only some minutes ago. Shaking hands, promising to see each other again as soon as possible... Hiroto hadn't been gone for half an hour and Midorikawa's optimism was already fading again. Now that he was standing here alone, he couldn't help but to face the cruel reality. He was here. And the others were gone. All his practice had been for nothing. No, that wasn't entirely true. It got him precious time with Hiroto that he wouldn't get from now on. Maybe never again. Talented and successful people tend to forget old acquaintances easily. You couldn't even resent them for it. Such people simply had more important things in their minds. Such as taking part in tournaments for which their acquaintances were not good enough.  
Midorikawa blinked when the image in front of his eyes became blurry.  
"There you are!" The voice right behind him made him flinch. When he turned around he saw Kira Hitomiko standing right in front of him. "I almost gave up on finding you," she said and picked up his luggage. "Are you coming?"  
Midorikawa nodded.  
"Y-yes!" he stuttered and looked back at the window one last time before he turned around and followed her.  
"I hope you don't mind that I actually wanted to wait for you outside," the young woman apologized to him while they made their way to the exit of the airport.  
Midorikawa shook his head.  
"It's fine." He was happy that someone came to pick him up in the first place, even if he didn't really understand the decision of the former Raimon coach. She didn't want to say goodbye to Hiroto personally, she had said. But why not? Why could she not just swallow her pride for once? He was sure it would have made Hiroto so happy. But the relationship between him and his sister was still a little tense. Strange, considering how obvious it was that he meant so much to her. Why did she always have to be so uptight? Adults were odd when it came to such things. But on the other hand... Midorikawa thought about it. Actually, he wasn't much better than her. He wasn't honest half as often as people assumed him to be.

Two weeks had passed since Midorikawa left the team. And it was just like Hiroto had said: If you could play freely, soccer was clearly more fun. Midorikawa played every day with the other children in Sun Garden and with Hitomiko's new team, Neo Japan. No, soccer was clearly nothing he would have to miss. Only...

He was lying on the bed in his room and stared at his phone. Should he call? After two weeks? Was that too early? Or even too late? Up to now, nobody contacted him. Probably no time. But when Hiroto was so busy - and he surely was – when should Midorikawa call him at all? He didn't want to bother him...  
"Ryuuji," the voice of a woman shouted from the corridor. "Tea is ready. Are you coming?"  
"Yes, in a minute!" Midorikawa shouted back.  
Meanwhile, a petite brunette woman was standing at the corridor and sighed before going back to the kitchen, where her husband was sitting at the table, reading the newspaper.  
"Poor boy," she said worriedly. "...isn't happy at all."  
Of course Midorikawa was glad to have a foster family! It had always been nice in Sun Garden and when someone asked him where his home was, he'd always said it's in the orphanage. But a foster family was something not all of them had. That's why he appreciated it and showed gratitude, even if he could never bare his heart to his foster parents the way he could to Hiroto, for example.  
He put his phone next to his pillow and got up. He wasn't really in the mood for tea but right now, every distraction was welcomed by him. He had been wondering all the time why nobody called him. Did they forget him so fast? Those cheerless thoughts didn't really make it easier to concentrate on something else. Including soccer of course.  
"Do you have any plans for today?" his foster mother asked him after he sat down on a chair. "No, but tomorrow, I want to visit a friend in the hospital, if that would be okay." She nodded with a smile and filled his cup with tea.  
"Of course, Ryuuji. You don't need to ask in advance." She was worried, that could be clearly heard in her voice. And he was sorry for that. But he still didn't want to talk to her about his thoughts. She was very nice just like his foster father. But they were still not his real parents. And they couldn't change that he felt lonely. Damn lonely.

_to be continued_

* * *

So this was the first chapter. Not much happens yet, right? ^^" But I promise this changes in the second chapter. :3


	2. Chapter 2

Hi everyone! ^^

Thank you for your feedback on the story so far. I hope you will like this chapter as well. Have fun! ^o^

* * *

"Come in," Fubuki shouted to the door when he heard the knocking. Right after, Midorikawa entered the hospital room.

"Midorikawa!" Fubuki said, surprised but visibly happy about the visit. "Good to see you!" He took the crutches that were leaning against the table next to him and slowly got up from his seat near the window. Up to now, he'd been sitting there on the chair and looking outside. He would have loved to be outside instead.

"Sorry for showing up so late," Midorikawa apologized while he walked over to the small wooden table with the white tablecloth on it and put the flowers into the empty vase standing there. He had had no clue what he should have brought with him. But he didn't want to show up without any present at all. That was impolite. Flowers were a classic. Even if he thought that they were more like a present for girls and he had no idea about the meaning of different kinds of flowers. But Fubuki put one of the crutches back to the table, reached out his now free arm to touch the white petals with his fingers, and smiled.

"They look like snow." He let his arm sink down again and walked over to the bed with his crutches to sit down. "I'm glad you're visiting me. It's quite boring here," he said while Midorikawa sat down next to him and started rummaging through his bag.  
"I thought so. That's why I brought something to read," he answered, and took out a whole stack of the Youth Football Journal.

"Ah!" Fubuki's eyes brightened up. He took one of the magazines right away and looked through it. "Thank you so much," he said while examining the articles. "Those will come in handy!"  
Midorikawa smiled. "How are you?" he asked.  
"Much better," Fubuki replied. His voice sounded quite motivated. He pointed at the crutches, which leaned against the bed. "I only need those out of safety reasons. But in fact, I can already walk without them. Can't wait to be back on the pitch."  
"I believe that right away," Midorikawa said.  
"Ah, did you hear it already?" Fubuki continued. "We won three to two against England."  
"Oh, really? I mean... that's great!" No, he didn't hear that yet. He couldn't watch the match because his foster mother asked him to do the shopping. And as usual, he didn't have the heart to refuse. He could never do that. He always had the feeling of owing her something. That's why he did everything his foster parents expected him to do.

"Yes," Fubuki said. "I wish I could have been there. But on the other hand, when I think about that party, I'm quite glad I didn't have to go there." He laughed. "Suits don't suit me." Midorikawa looked at him cluelessly.  
"Party?" he voiced his thoughts.  
Fubuki nodded. "Yes. Someoka told me that they were invited to an English Party. Everyone had to dress posh. And Endou came late because he forgot about time while playing soccer. And then this guy, Edgar Valtinas..."  
Midorikawa didn't quite hear Fubuki's last words. He was already thinking about something else. Someoka told Fubuki? That meant he had called him. And that meant that the members of Inazuma Japan did have enough time to call. Then why did nobody call HIM?  
"Fubuki," Midorikawa interrupted him. "When did Someoka call you?" Actually, he didn't want to be so curious but he had to know.  
"Uhm... earlier today," Fubuki answered. "Why do you ask?"  
Midorikawa shrugged and forced a smile.  
"Ah, no particular reason," he lied. "Just wanted to know when you last heard from the team."  
Fubuki nodded, understanding.  
"Well, as I said, earlier today. Probably after they had breakfast. But he told me about the match against England yesterday evening. Seems like they had a nice party after their victory. That is, it was quite loud in the background. I really wish we could have joined."  
"Yes..." Midorikawa sighed and got up. "Well, I have to go now. Get well soon, Fubuki. I hope you'll be allowed to go home soon."  
"Uhm-" Fubuki wanted to say something else. Midorikawa's rash departure seemed strange to him. But before he could open his mouth again, Midorikawa had already left the room.

He felt like boiling inside. His heart beat like crazy and the lump in his throat was bigger than ever. He walked fast and took big steps. He just wanted to go home as soon as possible. Once again, he was glad that he didn't have to return to Sun Garden now. He really didn't need Saginuma's lectures now. The older boy wouldn't understand him anyway.

"Welcome home," Midorikawa heard his foster mother shouting from the kitchen, right after he closed the front door behind him. But he just mumbled "Hm" and hurried upstairs. One more word and he'd simply break down. He just closed the door to his room, pressed his back against it, and sank down to the floor. He pulled up his legs, wrapped his arms around them, rested his forehead on his knees and did what he'd felt like doing for weeks: crying.

He remembered how their coach had told him that he had to leave the team. He remembered how Hiroto had sat down next to him during breakfast and asked him what was wrong. He remembered how he had helped him with his practice. But it had all been for nothing. He had forgotten about him. And not just Hiroto, but all others as well. How could Midorikawa have been so naïve to think that he was really a part of the team? He simply wasn't good enough. Fubuki was. Everybody was interested in Fubuki. After all, he was an ace striker and defender at the same time. How was Midorikawa supposed to keep up with someone like him? Ridiculous! The crying had long become loud sobbing.  
On the other side of the door the petite brunette woman was standing with her eyes filled with worry. She only wished she could help him. But she knew she couldn't.

Hiroto let himself fall down on the bed, sighing in exhaustion and closing his eyes. A calm minute, just a single one. He turned around on his stomach and reached out his hand for the clock on the nightstand to look at it. Half an hour until dinner. Then some more practice. Not that he didn't enjoy playing soccer every day, but it was still tiring. What did Hibiki tell them once? "It makes you remember that you're alive!" Oh how true!

He looked at his phone, which was lying on the nightstand as well, and thought for a moment. Then he grabbed it and stared at the screen. No new messages. No missed call. Nothing. Somehow, it was depressing. Sometimes he had the feeling that he didn't have any social contacts anymore, apart from the people who were here with him. Meaning, apart from Inazuma Japan. Or to be more precise, the active part of the team, because it seemed like Midorikawa didn't think it was necessary... Ah no, it was mean to think something like that. His friend certainly had his reasons not to get in touch with him. And Hiroto could have called him as well. It was only that he was quite busy here most of the time. And to be honest, he also didn't really know what to talk about with Midorikawa on the phone.  
"Ah, screw it," he eventually said to himself and dialed Midorikawa's number.

Midorikawa twitched when his phone suddenly rang. He had stopped crying a while ago, but he hadn't left his place in front of the door yet. He sniffed and then got up to walk over to his phone. His heart skipped a beat when he read the name on the screen. Hiroto! Finally! Finally he called him. But- what if Midorikawa's voice still sounded whiny? He cleared his throat. Why the hell was he so damn nervous all of a sudden? Hadn't he waited all the time for someone to call him? Now was not the time to think about it. So he pressed the button and raised the phone to his ear.  
"Hello?"

Nothing.  
Hm, maybe he'd said it too soon.  
"Hello?" he asked again, but on the other end of the line, it remained silent. After a few more seconds, the steady "Toot toot toot" could be heard. Midorikawa let his hand sink down. Hung up...

Meanwhile at Liocott Island.

"Wait, you midget!" Someoka bawled loudly from the corridor while he strode away, continuing his search for Kogure. Some minutes ago, the small boy came running into Hiroto's room (without knocking of course) and crawled under the bed with the words "Don't rat me out!" Just a second later, the door smashed open again and a raging Someoka stepped into the room, asking if Hiroto had seen Kogure. Within all that chaos, Hiroto had, of course, already pressed the button to hang up on his phone.

"Phew!" Hiroto sighed, and Kogure crawled out from under the bed.  
"That was close, tchichihihihi," he giggled. "Thanks for not squealing on me. Oh!" His eyes fell on the phone, which was lying on the bed next to Hiroto. "Did I interrupt you?"  
Hiroto shook his head. "Nevermind."  
"Whatever," Kogure continued, making it more than clear that he didn't care anyway, even if Hiroto would have answered with a "Yes".  
"It's dinner time soon. Hurry if you wanna take a shower. See ya!" And with that, he ran out of the room. Hiroto looked next to him. Calling again now would be stupid, wouldn't it? Well then... next try tomorrow.

The final whistle sounded loud and shrill on the pitch. Midorikawa stopped running and gasped. Then he joined the others, walking over to Coach Hitomiko, who stood at the side of the pitch with her arms folded.  
"Okay, that's enough for today," the young woman told them. Midorikawa sat down on the bench and wiped his forehead with a towel.  
"Midorikawa." When he looked up again, Hitomiko was standing in front of him. "Is everything okay?" He looked at her, confused. No, nothing was okay. But did he show that? He didn't think so... When he didn't reply to her right away, she continued. "How is Hiroto?" How the hell should HE know? Those words almost slipped his tongue. But he held back.  
"I don't know," he answered instead. "I guess he's fine." Why didn't she just call him herself and ask him? Suddenly, a thought came to Midorikawa's mind. It was such a simple thought that he was almost shocked that he didn't think about it earlier. Hitomiko probably didn't call Hiroto for the same reasons why Midorikawa didn't. She didn't have the courage. Suddenly, he felt incredibly sorry for the woman. And for the first time, he had the feeling he understood her.  
About two weeks ago, he wondered why adults were always acting so complicated without any reason, and now...  
"Nevermind," the coach said and interrupted Midorikawa's thoughts. "You were far from concentrated today. You might not be a member of Neo Japan, but I agreed to train you as well. Thus, I expect you to put as much effort into practice as everybody else."  
"Of course," Midorikawa mumbled. "I'm sorry."  
"There's no need to apologize. Instead, do something against the reason for your lack of concentration. And make sure to be less distracted tomorrow. When you're on the pitch, I want you to be there with your mind as well - not only with your body."  
"Got it," Midorikawa answered and stood up from the bench. "Thank you..."

Midorikawa nervously stared at the phone, concentrating. He would call now. He already dialed the number. Just one more tiny little step to go. He just had to press the button. He would do it. There was nothing to worry about, right? Hiroto and him had been friends for ages. It was the most normal thing ever to call him to ask how he was. And apart from that, Coach Hitomiko had told him to take care of what distracted him. And that's what he was about to do.  
"Wuah!"  
Midorikawa dropped his phone out of shock when it suddenly started to ring. With trembling fingers, he grabbed the phone again and looked at the display. Hiroto! This time he didn't hesitate but pressed the button instantly and held the phone to his ear.  
"Hiroto!" he said a little too loud. For a moment, his heart seemed to stop beating when it remained silent again on the other end of the line. But this time, it was only Hiroto being short-taken by the sudden, loud greeting.  
"Midorikawa," the greenhead finally heard his friend say, and a great load fell off his mind.  
So, now they made it. They were talking. And now? None of them seemed to know what to say.  
"Uhm...," Midorikawa hummed. "Well..."

"How are-"  
"-are you? Oh!"  
"Ah, sorry!"  
They both started laughing after they basically asked the same question at the same time. Then Hiroto started again.  
"I'm fine. And you?"  
Midorikawa smiled. "Me too," he answered and added a very quiet "...now."  
"I'm sorry for not calling earlier," Hiroto continued. "I was busy here and didn't know when to call."  
Midorikawa nodded, understanding, then he remembered Hiroto couldn't see that, so he added a quiet "Hm" before he continued. "I'm glad you're calling now."  
"I tried yesterday but then I was... well, let's say... interrupted."  
Midorikawa decided not to question it further. The most important thing was that he could talk to him now.  
While he let Hiroto tell him about their match against England, he started noticing how much he had missed him.  
"So as you can see, you can be glad after all," Hiroto ended after a while. "You didn't have to wear a suit."  
Midorikawa laughed.  
"Oh you! I'm sure you looked great. I wish I could have seen it." He heard Hiroto clear his throat. And then he said it. The words that had been on Midorikawa's mind the whole time. Three little words that affected him so much more than Hiroto could have guessed.  
"I miss you."  
For a moment, it remained silent. Then Midorikawa whispered: "I miss you too." And again, tensed silence. Until Hiroto changed the topic.  
"How is my sister?" he asked.  
"Uhm..." It took Midorikawa a moment to switch the topic. "Why don't you call her?" he then asked back. "She would be happy. She often asked about you."  
He could hear a silent, hesitant mumbling. Midorikawa sighed. Those two...  
"Well, I have to..." Hiroto started after a short pause. Midorikawa understood, even if Hiroto didn't end the sentence.  
"Thanks for calling," he said with a smile.  
"Hm," Hiroto hummed. "I won't wait that long next time. Promise."  
"Okay."  
"I hope you'll be back soon, Midorikawa."  
"Me too." He didn't want to hang up.  
"See you."  
"Uhm, yes... Bye."  
-Click-

The sound that told him that the other person had hang up had never had such a strong emotional effect on him before. He could have burst out in tears instantly. It was a lot worse than the day when the team went to Liocott Island without him. He put his phone aside and stared at the wall. His eyes focused some random spot. He wished Hiroto would have enough time to talk to him the whole day. Now that he had hung up, the loneliness came back twice as strong. He wanted to hear Hiroto's comforting voice. Even when he didn't comfort him, his voice always had this calming effect on Midorikawa. He couldn't stop thinking about it. The practice during the Football Frontier might have been hard, but at least he had had Hiroto around him back then. He wished nothing more than to be with him right now. He wanted to fall into his arms and cry. He wanted Hiroto to embrace him, to hug him, to k...

Oh no! Midorikawa immediately covered his mouth with his hands, as if he had accidentally revealed a secret. What did he just think? How could he...? Now it was too late, now they were there, the pictures in his head. Pictures of Hiroto who softly caressed his cheek, of Hiroto who looked right into his eyes and slowly leaned in. And even pictures of Hiroto in the locker room or shower! Midorikawas heart was racing. These thoughts. He knew he shouldn't think about such things, but he couldn't stop. Especially not now. He took his hand from his mouth and put it onto his chest instead, as if to feel his own heartbeat. So fast... Midorikawa was sure this couldn't be healthy. But now that he realized what was going on, he couldn't just make it beat slower. That was the reason why he reacted so over the top about everything that had to do with Hiroto, and why he missed him like crazy. He was head over heels in love with him! But what should he do now? How should he act? For the first time, the thought appeared to him that it might be a good thing that he wasn't with the team anymore. At least he could hide it like that. If he saw Hiroto every day - impossible! No, no, it was better this way. Like this, nobody would find out. And when they talked on the phone, Midorikawa just had to take care a little of how he behaved, yes! That was the plan. Sounded great!

Water droplets pearled off Hiroto's naked body when he stepped out of the shower. His wet hair fell into his face when he leaned forward and over Midorikawa, who was sitting on the bench in the locker room.  
"Midorikawa," the pale boy with red hair whispered into his ear. "I want you... now!"

Midorikawa sat straight in his bed and let out a yelp. He instinctively expected to hit his head on the bed above him, but there was no bed. Breathing heavily, he looked around. Around him it was quiet and dark. The moonlight was falling into the room through the blinds, so that he could see silhouettes of his furniture. He was alone. Midorikawa sighed.  
What a dream... He had never dreamt anything like that before, and if he had, he couldn't remember. But of Hiroto... Oh god, that was so embarrassing! But he had to admit, it had felt forbiddingly good, even if it had been nothing but a dream. Unfortunately, "forbidden" was exactly the right word. But it was no surprise that he had dreamt something like that, considering the conclusion he had come up with right before he went to bed. And this conclusion itself wasn't something to be surprised about, either. After all, Hiroto looked incredibly good. Actually, Midorikawa was quite sure that he never met any human who was more attractive than Hiroto. Oh and he was also charming, polite, helpful, obliging, intelligent, humorous and talented. And he had this enchanting, loving smile, which made Midorikawa feel as if he had butterflies in his stomach. And then, they had also known each other for such a long time now. And Hiroto was the one who had always been on his side and was always friendly to him. It was more than natural that Midorikawa had developed such feelings for him.

Midorikawa hummed, a little embarrassed. Somehow these thoughts had really made his body feel hot by now. He pulled his legs up and suddenly felt- TOO hot! Far too hot! Oh dear, that couldn't be true. Did he really have a... because of Hiroto?! What should he do now? That was so embarrassing! He sighed and let himself fall back into the pillow. If there was anything he was absolutely not in the mood to do right now, it was a cold shower. Instead, he closed his eyes and tried remembering his dream. He imagined how Hiroto gently laid his lips on his own. Ah... it felt so unbelievably good, even if it was just an illusion. He moved his hand down between his legs.  
"Ah!" He moaned but then instantly pressed his lips together. Not too loud! That could end up getting even more embarrassing. He breathed heavily and imagined Hiroto's slender hand. His soft skin, his fingers. Oh, and let's not forget, his voice. "Hng..." Midorikawa swallowed, every muscle in his body tensed, and he arched his back. Hiroto's voice, moaning his name close to his ear... "Ng... ah- Ah!"

He sank back breathlessly as the tension got less. He felt his heartbeat while his breathing slowly calmed down. He couldn't think clearly at all. Absentmindedly, he wiped his hand on the bed sheet. And finally he realized: he wouldn't be able to hide it. Well, maybe that he was jerking off with thoughts of Hiroto at night, but surely not that he was in love with him. He had never been a good actor, and clearly not a good liar. They would notice that something was wrong. And that would inevitably lead to wrong assumptions. There was only one chance to avoid this: he had to confess to him.

_to be continued_


	3. Chapter 3

Midorikawa was glad to hear the final whistle. He tried not to show it but he was quite exhausted.  
"Okay, that's it for today," Hitomiko said while standing at the edge of the pitch with her arms folded. Some of the players already walked past her and took their towels and water bottles.  
"Nice play, Midorikawa," the young woman said to the boy. He turned around to her and smiled.  
"Thank you!"  
"Are you feeling better?"  
He nodded. "I think so."  
"You still seem to be a little distracted but not as badly as last week. Keep working hard, okay?"  
"Yes, Kantoku!"  
Midorikawa turned away from her and sighed in relief before he made his way to the locker room.  
Distracted, she said... but better than last week. Just that sounded close to a miracle to him, because he had actually feared that he would have to deal with even more criticism today. He had had a lot going through his mind recently, but his play wasn't really a priority to him right now. Well, maybe it should have been, because...

„Midorikawa?"  
When the boy turned around to see who was calling him, he saw Heat - former member of Team Prominence and now member of Neo Japan - leaning at the doorframe of the locker room. "There's a call for you."  
"Hm? Oh..." A call? For him? Midorikawa was clearly confused. Who should call him at Sun Garden and why? Maybe his foster mother? Did something happen? He rushed to put on his shirt and walked over to Heat.  
"In the office," the boy said and pointed with his thumb over his shoulder towards the hallway.  
"Thanks," Midorikawa answered and left the locker room.

Midorikawa knocked on the slightly opened door to the office and glanced into the room. The old lady that was currently the director of the orphanage turned around from her place at the window and smiled softly. "Ah, there you are. Come in, dear!" She gestured towards the telephone on the desk. Then she walked past the desk at a leisurely pace as usually and disappeared through the second door in the room.

Midorikawa walked over to the desk and took the phone. He was far too curious to hesitate and spend another thought on who might call him here at the orphanage, instead of on his phone.

"Midorikawa speaking," he said with the phone held to his ear.  
"Midorikawa," a deep voice with a sightly commanding undertone answered. "Kudou Michiya here."  
"Ah! Kudou Kantoku?!," Midorikawa shouted, short-taken. Now that was someone he really didn't expect. But he didn't get much time to think about the reason why his coach called him personally to talk to him, as the young man at the other end of the line was faster.  
"You'll be back on the team from Monday on, understood?"  
Midorikawa's eyes widened. Back on... the team? He didn't mean... yes, he did! What else should he mean? Inazuma Japan! Midorikawa's mouth was opened but no sound came over his lips.  
"Your flight to Liocott Island will be on Saturday afternoon. I already informed director Hasegawa. Someone will take you to the airport and I'll send someone to pick you up over here."

„Midorikawa?" When the boy didn't say anything, Kudou's voice asked back, sounding a little louder and sharper this time.  
"Y-yes!"  
"Did you listen?"  
"Y-yes of- of course! I mean- thank you very much!" He couldn't do much more than to stutter.  
"Okay, then it's settled. We'll see each other on Saturday."  
"Y-yes! I mean, understood, Kantoku!"

After he hung up, Midorikawa was standing in the middle of the room, silently staring at the phone for a moment as if he would be waiting for it to ring again and for Kudou to tell him that he was just kidding. But it didn't ring. And slowly he began to realize. He was allowed to play again! In the Football Frontier! With all the others!  
That was so... so... bad! Why now? No, impossible! Absolutely impossible! He wasn't ready at all. He couldn't meet him again now.  
"Hiroto..." he mumbled, lost in his thoughts. And all of a sudden, he was damn nervous.

The sound of a door opening behind him made him twitch.  
"Well?" the director asked him with a smile that made it clear she had talked to Coach Kudou before. "Happy?"  
Midorikawa nodded instantly.  
"Yes," he said. "Yes of course!" A huge smile appeared on his lips but it partially only covered his insecurity. "I need to..." he mumbled in apology, bowed down, and left the office in a hurry.

Back in his room, he sank down to the floor with his back to the wall and sighed. He was allowed to play again. He was allowed to go to Liocott Island. This time, he would be the one getting on the plane, which he had looked after so longingly some weeks ago. He remembered quite well how he had felt on that day. Lonely... lost... left behind. And all the time, he had been smiling until the plane was out of sight. All the time, he had been trying to look optimistic just so the others wouldn't worry about him. And soon after they were gone, everything broke down upon him. Away, all the positive resolutions. And no matter how hard he was trying from that day on, he didn't think it would be of any use.  
The practice with Hitomiko and Neo Japan was exciting and it was also fun, there was no doubt about that. But he didn't think it really improved his play. Was he really good enough to play with Inazuma Japan again? He had been left behind because he couldn't keep up with the others. The practice level had been too high for him and as a coach, Kudou couldn't take responsibility for someone who wasn't in a perfect physical condition. That was what he has been told personally by him. "A team is only as strong as its weakest member." Life was hard but that's how it goes. Of course, Kudou was sorry for Midorikawa too, and he had told him that he shouldn't give up and keep working hard - most of all on his stamina of course, because that was his weak point. Midorikawa couldn't have been mad at Kudou for his decision. After all, he was right. But had something changed in the meantime? Or would Midorikawa disappoint him again? Him and the whole team... He wouldn't be able to bear it, if he would get kicked out again.  
And suddenly, another thought crossed his mind. When he was called back into the team, that meant that someone else had to leave. He hadn't even thought of that so far. Who might it be? And more importantly: Why? Did someone get injured? Kudou probably wasn't happy with the decision to get Midorikawa back on the team. He was probably just forced to exchange a good player for a worse one. Midorikawa swallowed. The thought didn't make it any better. Suddenly, he twitched and jumped to his feet. Hiroto! What if Hiroto was injured? What if HE had to leave? The possibility was one to sixteen but Midorikawa was so worried that he instantly ran over to his bed, grabbed his phone, and dialed Hiroto's number.

Hiroto was just on his way back from practice and heard his phone when he opened the door to his room.  
"Hello?" he asked after picking it up.  
"Hiroto!" Midorikawa started a little breathlessly.  
"Huh? Midorikawa. Is something wrong?"  
"Ah- no, nothing!" He immediately felt embarrassed for almost shouting at him out of nowhere and making it quite clear to Hiroto that he was excited about something.  
"It's just... uhm..." He was wondering if Hiroto and the others already knew that Midorikawa would come back. "Ah, it's nothing. Forget it. Uhm... how are you? Everything's going fine?"  
Hiroto smiled and nodded. "Yes, I'm doing fine. Why do you ask? You seem a little odd today."  
"No, no, I'm fine. I was just worried- ah, nevermind. How's the rest of the team?" Midorikawa's face was red. Why didn't he manage a single normal sentence? That was crazy! Luckily, Hiroto was only on the phone. Midorikawa would be so ashamed if he could see him like this.  
"Fine, too," Hiroto answered. "Well, except for Toramaru. He sprained his ankle yesterday during practice..."  
Midorikawa caught his breath. Toramaru? That meant... he was exchanged for Toramaru? Suddenly, he had a very bad feeling. Toramaru was an awesome striker, even if he was younger. He was a natural talent. He was so much better than him, even with less experience. And now Midorikawa was supposed to replace someone like this? That was-!  
"Midorikawa? Are you still there?"  
"Hah? Ah! Y-yes! Yes, I'm here. Uhm... I'm sorry to hear that. Tell him to get well soon. Is it bad, though? Can he still play?"  
"Hm, good question... we'll see. I didn't hear anything to the contrary so far. Even though I have to admit..." Hiroto didn't finish the sentence.  
"Hm?" Midorikawa asked back. "You have to admit?"  
"Oh," Hiroto started hesitating. "It sounds mean to say it like that. But... somehow I still hope you can come here soon."  
Midorikawa's heart beat faster right away. He smiled. Oh, if Hiroto only knew how happy those words made him. How they affect him even when they were so trivial and just meant to sound nice... How should he tell him? Midorikawa squinted his eyes and shook his head. No, he had to focus on the important things now. So: Hiroto and the others obviously didn't know yet that Midorikawa would come back. Actually, he wanted to say it but somehow he couldn't do that now. He was sorry that Toramaru had to go. And he didn't think he was a worthy substitute at all.  
"Thanks," he finally said. "I'm... hanging up now, okay?  
"Already?" Hiroto sounded disappointed.  
Midorikawa laughed. "Yes," he said. "I have some stuff to do over here. Well... See you soon, Hiroto."  
"Alright..."  
"Bye!"  
Midorikawa put the phone away, then suddenly let out a loud shout of joy and jumped a few times in his room. No second later, he felt embarrassed for his childish behavior and hoped that nobody from the room next door or the hallway had heard him. He acted almost like Endou before the next match. Almost scary!  
But at this point, he couldn't hold back his excitement anymore. Now that he had talked to Hiroto, he couldn't wait to see him again. And the others either. And Liocott Island! He has been told so much about it. He wanted to start packing his suitcase right now. And that's what he was going to do!

The rest of the week went by around twenty times slower than usual. The members of Neo Japan had reacted quite shocked when Midorikawa told them the news. They said they would miss him, but also that he was better off with Inazuma Japan. And Saginuma made a long speech as if Midorikawa was about to go on a world tour.  
Midorikawa had thought about calling Hiroto again, but after he acted so absolutely dumb when they last talked, he was too scared to do so. And Coach Kudou had probably told them by now that Midorikawa was going to come back anyway. And if not... then it would be an even funnier reunion.

It was Saturday afternoon and the sun was shining brightly down the cloudless, blue sky over Liocott Island, when Midorikawa's plane approached to land.  
When Midorikawa made his way through the crowd into the airport hall, he soon found Hibiki, who was waiting, unhurried as always, near an info point.  
"So? Had a good flight?" the bearded man greeted him and took his suitcase.  
Midorikawa nodded with a smile. "Yes. Thank you for picking me up." The former coach nodded, which could be translated as something like 'It's not worth mentioning'. Then they started walking.

Midorikawa was more than nervous when he was standing in front of the door leading to the room where the team gathered. During the whole way here, he had stared out of the car window, almost like sticking to it, and watched the landscape they passed. He had been so excited! He hadn't even thought of how it would be to see all the familiar faces again. That was what he had had in his head during the whole flight.  
Now he was there. Hibiki a few steps behind him. "Come on, what are you waiting for?" he said with a calm voice. Midorikawa took a deep breath, swallowed, and summoned all his courage.

When the door opened, the whole team turned around at once. Coach Kudou had told them to gather for their daily meeting, but he hadn't mentioned at all that the substitute for Toramaru, who left the day before, would arrive today.  
"Midorikawa!" Endou was the first to shout out loud and jumped from his chair. All others went up as well. Only Fudou stayed where he was, and Kogure jumped onto Kabeyama's shoulder.  
„Hey, Midorikawa!" Tsunami grabbed his shoulders and pulled him so close that Midorikawa thought he was suffocating.  
"Nice to see you again," Hijikata gave him a pat on the back - a little too strongly.  
"Thanks," Midorikawa said with a laugh and gasped for air. He was surrounded by his team and attacked with questions within seconds and couldn't even see Hiroto at first. Only when Kudou raised his voice, the chaos calmed down and everybody went back to their seats.  
Hiroto smiled when Midorikawa's gaze finally met him.  
"You could have told me," he said.  
Midorikawa grinned. "He he!" Then he sat down next to him.  
"As you can see, Midorikawa will be back on the team from today on," Kudou started. "I suppose I don't have to ask you to give him a warm welcome."  
"Absolutely not!" Endou shouted.  
Couch Kudou ignored the comment and continued. "The practice on Monday starts as usual. That's all for today."  
"That means time for dinner!" Midorikawa heard Kabeyama's excited voice. He had to hold back from laughing. Oh, how he had missed it! Even the impossible eating contests with Kabeyama.

After dinner, Midorikawa was sitting in his room, unpacking his suitcase, when someone knocked on the door.  
"Who's there?" he shouted and got up from the floor.  
The door opened and Hiroto appeared in the doorframe, waving and smiling at him.  
"Hey," he said. "Can I come in?"  
Midorikawa nodded and smiled back at him. Oh, how nice it was to simply nod without having to remember that the other person couldn't see that when on the phone.  
Hiroto entered the room and closed the door behind him.  
"That's your first time, isn't it?" he asked.  
"Hm?" Midorikawa looked a little confused.  
"That you're having your own room. Apart from the one at your foster parents' house, of course.  
"Ah right! Yes!" he said. "In the orphanage, we always shared rooms. And during the prelims, you and me..." He didn't finish the sentence but simply laughed a little shyly. "It will be strange. I don't even know if I'll be able to sleep at this rate. I don't think I will, at least during the first nights. I'm far too excited. The island is huge! Though I didn't see much of it yet on my way from the airport. But- ah, sorry. I'm talking too much."  
Hiroto laughed.  
"I'm used to that," he said. "Whenever you're excited, you start talking your head off."  
Midorikawa averted his eyes, ashamed. Touché! Hiroto knew him too well.  
"Or also..." said boy continued and stepped a little closer. "When you're nervous."  
"Huh?" Midorikawa looked up and right into Hiroto's eyes. Nervous? Who was nervous? He wasn't! Nobody on this whole island was less nervous than him. Absolutely! Oh no, Hiroto just knew him FAR too well!  
Much to Midorikawa's relief, the redhead didn't plan to go into details but changed the topic.  
"I was really surprised," he said while walking past Midorikawa and over to the window. It was getting dark outside. "I mean, after Toramaru had to leave, it was clear that someone would come back but nobody told us if it would be you or Kurimatsu. Nor were we told that you'd arrive today."  
Midorikawa smiled. He felt a little stupid for standing in the middle of the room in front of his partially unpacked suitcase and not knowing what to say, after Hiroto made it clear that he knew how nervous Midorikawa was. Thus, he kept staring down at his suitcase. And suddenly, his heart sank to his boots when his eyes fell on his shorts. He couldn't even say why he felt embarrassed that they were hanging over the edge of his suitcase, where Hiroto could easily see them. After all, they had changed clothes in the same locker room and shared a room for many years. But back then he didn't know yet how he felt for Hiroto. Now it was completely different. Midorikawa tried to shove the shorts back into the suitcase with his food without attracting attention.  
"I'm glad to see you again," Hiroto continued and turned back to Midorikawa. His eyes met the suitcase. "What are you doing?"  
"Ah! Nothing! Ahahaha." Midorikawa quickly bent down, closed the suitcase, and shoved it aside.  
When he got up again, Hiroto had approached him so that he was directly in front of him by now. Midorikawa instantly felt his heart beat faster. He should tell him. Now! But he couldn't say a single word. And before he could do anything, Hiroto had pulled him into a hug.  
"Welcome back," Midorikawa heard him say close to his shoulder. He tried to calm down, but it wasn't that easy.  
"Thanks," he finally mumbled, and Hiroto let go of him, looking at him with a smile.  
"I'll let you continue..." He looked at the suitcase. "...unpacking. Or can I help you with anything?"  
"Ah, no, no!" Midorikawa raised both hands and shook them quickly, waving off. "Don't worry, I'll be fine. Almost done anyway. But thanks for asking."  
"Alright, if you say so..." Hiroto answered and walked over to the door. "Good night, Midorikawa. See you at breakfast."  
"Yes," Midorikawa replied with a big smile. "See you."  
"Sleep well."  
"Same to you! Good night, Hiroto."

As soon as the door closed behind Hiroto, Midorikawa sighed in relief. That was so close! To tell him, pff! What an idiotic plan! What did he think that would bring him? "Tell him, ts! Ryuuji, you idiot!" he mumbled to himself while he sank down on the floor to continue unpacking his suitcase. "As if I could do that… as if it was that easy. As if that would get me anything." No, nothing at all. Apart from fatal consequences. Hiroto would probably avoid him if he knew about it. No, he couldn't take this risk. Why did he want to tell him anyway? What did he hope to achieve by that? No, no, the chance that he would ruin their friendship was far too big. He didn't want to risk this. There was too much on the line. Those stupid feelings were not worth that anyway. Right!

_to be continued_


	4. Chapter 4

Hi everyone! This is the last chapter of this fanfiction. I hope you will like it. Thank you very much for reading it and merry christmas! ^^

* * *

In that night, Midorikawa was lying awake again. He stared at the dark ceiling above him. The room here was different than the one at his foster parents' place. There, he was always able to see silhouettes because the blinds had small gaps between them. The moonlight or some streetlights... one of those always shined into the room. And from the room next door, he could hear his foster parents talking every now and then. He was used to that room. But here, it was different. The complete darkness was much more terrifying to him than any shadows. Shadows were something you could connect to an object. And in his own room, there were never shadows that couldn't be connected to any object he knew. So no need to worry. Here at Liocott Island, he didn't know anything apart from his team. How long would it take for him to get used to this room? Probably longer than the whole Football Frontier International would last. But he really had to try to get some sleep. That was important. He didn't want others to notice his fatigue sooner or later on the pitch, too.  
"Alright, Ryuuji," he thought and closed his eyes. "Sleep. Don't think. Here's nothing that could harm you."  
Suddenly, he heard a cracking sound. Instantly, he twitched and held his breath. What was that? Nervously, he looked around, but of course he didn't see anything at all. He swallowed.  
"Imagination," he said to himself. "Only my imagination."  
CRACK.  
"Ah!" He sat straight in his bed in a split second and reached out for the lamp on his nightstand. His heart was racing. "What was that?" he asked into the silence. "I didn't imagine that, I'm sure I didn't!" Damn it, why did Hiroto have to scare him like that with that story about ghosts? That had been on sheer purpose! And he fell for this trap like a scaredy-cat! That was so embarrassing. Enough! After this noise, he wouldn't manage to close his eyes anymore in this room! That's for sure. And that was clearly Hiroto's fault! Why did he do something like that to him? Midorikawa would just go now and-  
He crawled out from under the blanket, put on his slippers and stomped over to the door. "Just wait! When I can't sleep, then why should you, hm?" he mumbled furiously to himself and snuck out on the hallway.

Hiroto's room was a little further down the corridor, two rooms from his, that's what he had told him this afternoon. Midorikawa stopped in front of his door. Should he really do that? The way he acted towards him recently... but on the other hand, it was more or less Hiroto's fault that he couldn't sleep. So it was only logical and fair if he woke him up now. He didn't even check the clock. How late could it be?  
"Ah, screw it!" he said to himself, took a deep breath, and knocked on the door. It didn't take long until Hiroto opened in his pajamas. He didn't look as if he was truly surprised about the nightly visit. Quite the contrary, actually. He grinned. He knew it! All of a sudden, Midorikawa was sure about that. Hiroto knew Midorikawa would come here. Ooouuuuh how-! Midorikawa wanted to burst. But he didn't, because Hiroto simply looked too good in his pajama to burst right in front of him. Midorikawa blushed. Oh dear, those thoughts really wore him out.  
"Come in," Hiroto said and stepped aside to let him in. Then he closed the door behind Midorikawa.

Neither of them noticed they had been spied on. Only when the door was closed, the two figures that had been hiding around the corner started moving again.  
"Ushishishishishi," the smallest team member of Inazuma Japan laughed with his hands in front of his mouth. "That was funn-"  
DANG!  
"Outsch!" Kogure rubbed his hurting head after Tsunami smacked him. "Why did you do that?" he grumbled and looked up to the taller boy. "I told you, we're overdoing it!" Tsunami scolded him. "Sneaking around in the hallway is one thing, but to open and close Midorikawa's door, that was mean!"  
The smaller one pulled a face. "Jeeeez! And I thought you wouldn't be such a party pooper."  
Tsunami put his hands on his waist to look more authoritarian. "I'm not but that's enough now! Go to bed!"  
"But we still wanted Tachimu-," Kogure started but then he was grabbed by his too long ears.  
"Don't - even - think - of - it!"

In the meantime, a burdening silence had come up in Hiroto's room. Hiroto sat on his bed while Midorikawa stood in the middle of the room, staring down at his slippers, not knowing what to do.  
"Come here now!" Hiroto finally broke the silence and beckoned him over with a smile. Midorikawa raised his head and looked at him, a little unsure. "Now, will you?" Hiroto repeated and patted at the blanket next to him. "You can sleep here. That's what you came for, right?"  
It took a moment before Midorikawa regained control after his

face got deeply red and he felt caught in a trap. But still, the next sentence came over his lips only in a stutter.  
"Uhm... no, it isn't! I mean... well, actually... it's your fault I can't sleep!"  
Hiroto looked surprised.  
"Oh?" he asked and pointed at the tip of his own nose. "Mine?"  
"Y-yes! You scared me with your stories!"  
Hiroto started laughing when he understood what Midorikawa meant.  
"Oh that!" he said. "No, I don't think that you can blame me so easily for that. You couldn't sleep the nights before either, could you?"  
Trapped again. Gradually, it became really embarrassing. Midorikawa mumbled something incomprehensible to himself. It seemed he had to give up.  
"Now come here, okay?" Hiroto asked again and crawled under the blanket himself. Midorikawa sighed and eventually followed him. It wasn't that this would be the first time they shared a bed or that Hiroto's closeness would bother him. Quite the opposite! But still, it was something completely different when he was lying next to him now, like he did some years ago at Sun Garden. Back then, Midorikawa didn't think about how close he could get to him without getting suspicious. And now his heart was beating like crazy.  
The fact Hiroto turned onto his side to look at him directly didn't make it much better. Midorikawa pulled the blanket up to his mouth and stared at the ceiling.  
"It's simply too quiet," he mumbled from under the blanket.  
"You said the same back then," Hiroto answered, understanding. "When you spent the first nights at your foster parents' house." Now that he mentioned it... "I'm sure you'll get used to it in no time."  
"Hm...," Midorikawa mumbled. He wasn't that sure about that.  
"Is that all?"  
"Hm?"  
"Is that all that troubles you? Why you can't sleep?"

Midorikawa didn't say anything. He didn't want to lie again. But he didn't want to tell the truth either.  
Hiroto sighed. "You've been so different since you came back. I hardly recognize you." Midorikawa began biting his lower lip nervously. He should turn of the light. It was easier to lie when it was dark, because then, Hiroto couldn't tell from his face but only from his voice. He was about to reach out for the lamp on the nightstand when Hiroto continued and made him stop his movement.  
"I wonder what happened to the traffic light men."  
"Eh?" Midorikawa turned back and looked at Hiroto confused.  
"What?"  
Hiroto laughed. "Did you forget? How Father compared us to the little traffic light men years ago?"  
Forget? No, he didn't forget that but he didn't think of it either. Why did Hiroto bring that up all of a sudden?  
"The red traffic light man makes you slow down, when you're running the risk of rushing things. The green one speeds you up so you can accelerate and move forward."  
Now Midorikawa started laughing.  
"Yes, I know," he said. "But Hiroto, that's just a children story to teach them how to behave correctly at the traffic lights."  
"Father said you and I are like traffic lights. You're the lust for life and I'm the rationality. I wonder what one would be without the other..."  
Midorikawa held his breath. If Hiroto knew how cute what he just said sounded… Probably not. And Midorikawa still didn't know what Hiroto wanted to imply with this comparison. That's why he kept silent and let him talk on.  
"You were always cheerful and optimistic. And whenever you fell, you got up right away and kept going. I already told you this before you had to leave the team."  
Yes, and that he had to leave was the best proof that doing his best sadly wasn't always enough. At least, that was what Midorikawa thought. But he kept that thought to himself.  
"And I did have the feeling that this message reached you. But... what makes you sad this time has nothing to do with soccer, am I right? There's no reason to. After all, you're back and Coach Kudou hasn't criticized you a single time since you're here. Why should he? Your play is outstanding!"  
Midorikawa laughed shyly. Well... "outstanding" might be a little too much to say. But it was still a nice compliment.  
"So if it's not about soccer, then what is it?," Hiroto asked again. "What pulls you down so much? Did something happen?"  
Midorikawa's smile disappeared and he sighed deeply. Hiroto didn't really make it easy by asking again and again. How should he deal with this? He didn't want and wouldn't tell him the truth, but he also didn't want to keep lying to him all the time. Would Hiroto give up eventually if Midorikawa insisted on everything being fine just long enough?  
„Midorikawa..." the other boy started again. And then he did something that made Midorikawa's heart instantly beat faster. He raised his arm from under the blanket and stroked with his fingers over Midorikawa's cheek. "What's wrong with you? That you don't even want to talk to me... I always thought you could talk about everything to me."  
He could. Well... he used to... But up to now Midorikawa had never been worried because of something that had to do with Hiroto himself.  
"Do you even know how important you are to me?"  
"Eh?" Oh dear, if he kept going on like this, he would find out the truth just because of Midorikawa's reactions. Hiroto's hand on his cheek felt so soft. A little cold, but that wasn't particularly bad, since Midorikawa felt burning hot. He wished he could just throw himself into Hiroto's arms. Those feelings drove him crazy. And that was why he had to end this scene now. He turned away from Hiroto, forcing him to pull his hand back, and switched off the lamp on the nightstand. Alright! Now at least Hiroto couldn't see him anymore.  
"Midorikawaaa!" Oh no! This long "a" didn't sound good at all. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're trying to avoid me!"  
"What? Ah, no, not at all!" Midorikawa instantly said and turned back at him to put more meaning into his words. "I don't!"  
"Oh, yes you do! I asked: "Do you know how important you are to me?" and you turned away!"  
"Uhm... that wasn't on purpose," Midorikawa lied and pulled the blanket a little higher. "I'm sorry..."  
"Say..."

"Yes?" What now? Hiroto hesitating didn't happen often.  
"Is there... someone you like?"  
"Eeeeh?" Midorikawa was taken by complete surprise. What the-? How did he come up with that now? Why did he even think Midorikawa could be interested in anything like that already? And - bamm - there it was again, the blush of shame. But this time, at least he could be sure Hiroto couldn't see it.  
"I mean... a girl or something. One you like a lot or something..." Those were suspiciously many "or something"'s for Hiroto. Wait a second! Could it be that... Was Hiroto possibly nervous too? Midorikawa couldn't remember if he'd ever seen Hiroto being nervous. But maybe this was the first time.  
In this moment, Hiroto added a last part to his question. "Or... a boy?"  
"NO!" Midorikawa answered right away. That was going too far now.  
He heard Hiroto sigh in relief next to him. "Phew."  
"Phew?" Midorikawa asked back confusedly, even before he thought about what "Phew" could mean.  
But instead of getting an answer, Midorikawa felt Hiroto's hand on his cheek again a moment later. This time his whole hand, not just the finger tips. His hand ran through his hair, then back to his chin, and finally, his fingers brushed lightly over his lips. Midorikawa tried to breathe calmly but that was easier said than done, since on the inside, he was already burning.  
"I was worried," he heard Hiroto say with a quiet voice. He heard him very clearly, even when he was talking quietly. That meant Hiroto had shifted closer to him. Midorikawa could feel his closeness. What was happening here? This atmosphere was somehow strange. So... unusual. But far from unpleasant. Midorikawa felt his heart race.  
"Worried...?" he asked unsurely.  
"...that someone might take you away from me," Hiroto ended the sentence.  
Midorikawa's eyes grew wide. Was he dreaming? He had to be! He was dreaming! It was impossible that this was really happening. Hiroto, who was so close to him. Hiroto saying such things to him. It was too good to be true.  
"I don't want to lose my place as the most important person in your life." Now he even felt Hiroto's breath close to his lips when he talked. How close was he? Maybe Midorikawa shouldn't have switched off the light. No, no, it was probably better like this. Or else he might have fainted at some point.  
"I... am the most important person for you, ain't I?" Hiroto asked just to make sure.  
"Y-yes," Midorikawa admitted hesitantly.  
He heard Hiroto chuckle just a little. "Then it's fine. I just wanted to be sure, before..."  
Before?  
Midorikawa didn't have to think long about that half-finished sentence. Because in the next moment, he felt Hiroto's lips on his own and a feeling in his stomach that reminded him of the one when you were at the highest point of a rollercoaster right before you raced down with a sudden, strong jerk. The only difference was that Midorikawa was always a little scared on rollercoasters. Here, in this moment, he was only nervous. So nervous he was sure that you couldn't be any more nervous than that. But nervousness wasn't all he felt. There was so much more. Actually, there were so many feelings at once that he couldn't manage a single clear thought. That's why he did what seemed to make the most sense: ignore the thoughts and concentrate on what really mattered. And that were those incredibly soft lips that gently pushed and slowly moved against his own. And Hiroto's hand on his shoulder pulling him closer. Not in his boldest dreams would he ever have guessed how good it would feel to kiss him for real. It was so much better than he could have ever imagined. Insecurely, Midorikawa raised one arm from under the blanket and placed his hand on Hiroto's back. He felt the warmth that came from him and how his chest moved with every breath he took. And he felt how Hiroto pulled him closer until they were embracing each other and still kissing. Midorikawa sighed quietly. If it was up to him, they wouldn't need to stop ever again. He could keep lying there like this and kissing him forever. He enjoyed it so damn much.  
But sadly, everything had an end, and when they both had to gasp for air, the end of their kiss had been reached. Midorikawa wished it hadn't because apart from the fact that he wanted to kiss him more, they were now lying in each other's arms and neither of them seemed to know what to say.  
"Uhm..." Hiroto started after a while.  
"Hm?" Midorikawa mumbled against his neck.  
"I... I already thought so."  
He did what? He thought so? What? That Midorikawa was head over heels for him? But... how?  
"But... how?" Midorikawa put his thoughts into words. He had put so much effort into hiding his feelings.  
"Hm." He could hear Hiroto chuckling. "I guess you just sense such things. I mean, I've known you for quite a while."  
Great, that meant all his acting had been for nothing. Then he could have saved himself the effort.  
"But I wasn't entirely sure," Hiroto continued. "That's why I questioned you."  
Midorikawa didn't know what to say, so he just nodded instead. It was dark, but he was lying so close to Hiroto's neck that he could feel it. And now? Hiroto knew what Midorikawa felt and they kissed and what next?  
"You're the most important person in the world for me too," Hiroto finally said, as if he had guessed Midorikawa's thoughts. Again, Midorikawa's heart made a jump. "I noticed that by the time when you were gone. That's why I decided to tell you. I just didn't know how."  
Midorikawa hardly believed what Hiroto said. So that's how it was? He didn't even dare to finish the thought but... Hiroto returned his feelings? That was... simply... unbelievable! Never ever had that chance come to Midorikawa's mind. For him, it had been clear right from the start that his love must have been one-sided. And now he was lying here in Hiroto's arms, felt his heartbeat, was being held and caressed by him... Maybe he should ask him to pinch him just to be sure he wasn't dreaming. But... no. That would only ruin the atmosphere. So he kept it to himself and just pulled Hiroto a little closer as an answer. He closed his eyes with a smile and took a deep breath. Hiroto smelled good. Midorikawa couldn't say like what; Hiroto simply smelled like Hiroto. And it had something calming. Just like his smile. It was probably his whole aura. Midorikawa sighed. Now he wasn't alone anymore, but his head was so full of thoughts that he was sure he wouldn't be able to sleep now anyway. But somehow, that wasn't that bad at all anymore. He would just stay awake and listen while Hiroto slept. That was a nice thing to do. He couldn't stop grinning.  
"Thank you," he mumbled eventually.  
"Hm?" Hiroto asked and sounded a little tired.  
"That you told me. I think I would have kept it to myself forever."  
Hiroto laughed.  
"Then it's even better that I said it."  
Midorikawa nodded.  
"Hiroto?"  
"Hm?"  
"... Good night."  
"Good night... Midorikawa."

Loud and sharp Coach Kudou's whistle sounded on the pitch of Inazuma Japan.  
"Aaah, already done for today?" Midorikawa complained and ran on the spot.  
Hiroto laughed, patted his shoulder, and walked over to the benches.  
"Look what we brought for you, boys!" Haruna shouted and placed a big basket on one of the benches.  
"Onigiri!" Kabeyama cheered and ran to the basket, but Aki blocked his way and Haruna slapped his fingers.  
"First you go and wash your hands!" she commanded strictly, and Kabeyama pulled a face before he trotted over to the faucet. The rest of the team followed him, obviously as hungry as him.

"Aaah! I could easily keep practicing like this the whole afternoon," Midorikawa sighed with a wide grin while he sat down with the others in the grass at the side of the pitch."  
"Ha ha, don't overdo it!" Hijikata advised him. "You shouldn't overstrain yourself."  
"Well if you want to keep going, Midorikawa, I'm in!" Endou said, and Kogure added: "Of course you are!"  
"Midorikawa," Hiroto, who sat next to him, started. "I hope you know you don't need any extra practice, okay?"  
Midorikawa nodded. "Yes, I know," he assured him cheerfully. "But I'm just having fun."  
Hiroto smiled contently. "Alright then."  
"The last onigiri!," Fuyuka suddenly sat and held up the basket to the team.  
Instantly, Kabeyama reached out his hand, but Midorikawa was faster and snatched the rice ball from under his nose.  
"Well," Kazemaru laughed. "Seems like the next eating contest will come soon."  
"We can make bets on who'll win," Tsunami suggested. "I bet my carrots on Kabeyama!"  
"Your carrots? Why that?" Tachimukai asked.  
"Well, because I'm sure Midorikawa will win!"  
The whole team started laughing. Fuyuka held a speech to Tsunami on how healthy and important vegetables were and Kabeyama stared at the empty onigiri basket. Behind his back, Kogure put some tabasco on his own last onigiri before he offered it to Kabeyama. Everything was back to normal. Well, not everything. There was something that had changed. Even though it was only that behind the back of the other team members of Inazuma Japan, Hiroto's hand was resting on Midorikawa's...

~ End


End file.
